Monday, June 22, 2009

Growing Up?

This summer Not The Baby is participating in a program where they put 14 and 15 year olds out in a summer job. The program is directed by a good friend of mine at our local community center.

Now this is not your typical job, this is being the shadow of a CEO and other college graduate jobs.

Jobs that make you think.....I want to go to college and do this some day for a living.

Well when Not The Baby found out that she would be working with the CEO of our local United Way she right off had no idea what that was.

So after explaining it to her she became ever so slightly more excited then she did before.

Quite frankly I think she was just excited about having to dress up.

Which was a bit of a challenge since we are not dress or skirt going ladies in this house. Well ok......I am not.

So off to garage sales I went in search of carer looking, downtown strutting clothes.

And by George if I didn't find some.

The first time I dropped Not The Baby off at her "job" she was so scared that she wanted me to walk her I did.

Well I didn't walk her into the office but I did ride with her on the elevator up to the floor and watched her walk down the hall to her office.

Her comment to me before getting off the elevator:

Not The Baby: " I'm not old enough for a job Momma".

Momma: "Think of the opportunities sweetheart and the people you will meet, because in life it really is about who you know."

Not The Baby: " I am going to be thinking about all the clothes I am going to buy when they pay me!"

Momma: " Ok, well I really want you to lay on the charm with everyone you meet because you never know when you might need these people to land the carer later after college. Hey not to mention an internship while you are in school."

Not The Baby: " I am going to go to the big city mall Momma when I get paid"

Momma: "I mean you are getting an opportunity that most people never get."

Not The Baby: " I think I will go ahead and buy some jeans for the fall season while I have the money."

Momma: "I wish I were in your shoes right now, getting to rub shoulders with community leaders and people in the know."

Not The Baby: "I don't think I will buy any tank tops though, I think I have enough."

Momma: "Remember names of the people you meet and when you go to community meeting try to remember what they are saying so that you can come home and inform me of any cool stuff that is going to be going on around town."

Not The Baby: " I think I may need to buy a new bra too."

Momma: " You should even take your camera especially when you go to the meeting with the state officials."

Not The Baby: " Can we take No Sugar For Me Girl with us when we go shopping?"

Momma: WHAT?

Not The Baby: What?

Momma: " Have you been listening to anything I have said?"

Not The Baby: Yes...Duhhhhh!

At this point the elevator door is getting ready to open and Not The Baby says to me.

Not The Baby: What is the name of the place I am working and what was the ladies name again?

Momma: OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Momma: United Way and her name is Mrs M.

Momma: Have a great day and let me know what stores you want to do your shopping at later.

You got to love her!

Thursday, June 11, 2009

What Is The Number To Patent Office?

First off before I start telling you my hair brain idea I just want to thank everyone that prayed and or sent good thoughts my way!

I know we are going to make it through these testing times.

These testing times is what brought me to my wonderfully intelligent idea!

As I was laying in bed this morning contemplating whether to lay there and sleep or get up and witness the beautiful fog and listen to my favorite morning birds sing an idea came to me.

Now before I reveal my idea to you, you have to take the oath of promise.

Ok say it with me:

"I fellow Internet blogger lover and well lover of all things that hath be given to me via the Internet"

" Do solemnly swear not to take Momma's hair brain idea and run to the nearest patent office making a fortune before she gets a chance to re-do her kitchen and bathroom and fix the brakes on her car and put a new roof on and get new flooring all throughout the house and get the Babies braces and Papa glasses and Momma liposuction."

"So help me God"

Ok now that you are under oath I can tell you my idea.

So far my experience as a Momma has been very rewarding and also very trying.
When Baby Boy was just a wee little lad I hovered over him like a mosquito to me on any given Oklahoma summer day.
When Brat Baby was born I still hovered but let her take a step ahead of me just to give her a little room.
When Not The Baby was four we threw a jersey on her at a soccer game with eight year olds and told her to go kick em ass! (man did she ever....she has always rocked at soccer)
When Baby Girl was four and was learning to swim I told her to go jump off that seven foot diving board and swim to Momma.

And guess what? She did!

So do you see the pattern here, I encouraged my children to fear nothing....well not everything but you know the things that I would not have done in a million years (like jumping off that diving board).

So then I wonder why they have the guts to go through with some of the things that they go through with???


My idea would involve a little computer chip disguised as a mole that we attach to there head somewhere, like behind their ear so they don't look at it very often or very easily.

The computer chip/mole will send a signal to the parents when the heart rate is elevated therefore warning the parents of something that is about to occur.

We then are linked to the brain of our children to see what it is that they are seeing and signal that brain to either stop what they are doing or about to do or let them go through with it and learn a life lesson.

I know that this could bring up a whole discussion of right from wrong.....In Vitro or not......Stem Cell Research or not.....

But how many of you have already wished that you could change something your child did?

I know there are things that I would change if I could in myself.

Just a little Thursday morning thought.............

Happy Mosquito eating day!

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Boy If I Ever Needed Your Prayers.....

I know I have asked for your prayers before and believe me I would not be asking again if I really didn't need them.

Papa and I had some serious problems and with prayer and a little time away from each other I think we have things figured out and have realized what we each needed to fix.

Now just when I thought things were going to be getting better Brat Baby has lived up to her name.

Without going into detail I am just sending out an ALL CALL to everyone I know and well to about ten different online prayer request web sites. ( I know maybe I am crazy but I am scared out of my mind)

Tomorrow morning and well of course tonight but tomorrow morning especially would you if you have time please stop for just a second at 10 am and pray for my Brat Baby.

I am one scared and worried Momma and I know that prayer can be stronger than anything.....even me and I like to think that I am really strong.

I swear if anyone tries to tell you that motherhood is easy or that it gets easier the older they get well..........They are so sadly mistaken!

Papa and Brat Baby would probably die if they knew I was writing asking for your help, well because this is our business but you know what......I am keeping it real and well by golly we need help and I know that with prayer ANYTHING can happen!

Plus don't let anyone tell you that their life is perfect because we all have crap in our closet some of us just choose to keep a deadbolt on the door and some of us are not afraid of company coming by.

Friday, June 5, 2009

Oh my gosh i am sending a post via text messaging from my phone i know everyone can do it and it is not a big deal but this is my first time happy friday

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

What Does The Second P Stand For?

Well Most of you already know what it stands for unless you are my crazy BFF who calls me frantically on the phone to say the following, the moment the phone is answered:


My End of the receiver: WHAT!

BFF: You know the other P word!

My End Of The Receiver: Are you crazy?

BFF: Yes I Just Used The P word!

My End OF The Receiver: WHAT

BFF: Well are you?

My End of the receiver: What P word are you talking about?

BFF: You know the other P word on your blog! Duh!

My End Of The Receiver: Do you want my mom?


So then I get on the phone and she is sounding very confused and frantic!

I ask her what is going on and reassure her that pregnancy only happens when a male sperm comes in contact with......

Well whatever you get the picture and so there it is not humanly possible that I could be in that state of being. Because if I was, scientist would want to probe and prod me to see how that all happened without contact from the opposite sex.

So that brings me to the other P word.

How about I show you first:

Thats right P stands for PUPPY.

Who could not love a sleeping face like this and this Puppy has a story.

My sister all the way up north in freeze your ass off country has a Australian Shepard Momma who met up with one of the local country boys (which one has yet to be determined) and had a litter of pups. One Saturday morning she calls me and said "I am going to e-mail you a picture of something that you wont be able to turn away."

Well obviously I thought him to be as cute as she did and well that was a no brainer that the Babies would love him the moment they set their eyes on him.

So I say to my sister, are you going to bring him when you take the 12 hour trip home?

Oh and by they way when are you going to get your sorry butt home I have not seen you in a year or better!

Well unfortunately sis could not bring the puppy herself so she did the next best thing.

She flew him on Continental Airlines!

That's right we picked up our new four legged family member at the airport.

Ryder is his name and he is wonderful.

Though it could be the fact that Rex had the bar set so low on expectations of dogs that anything would be considered good compared to the likes of Lucifer

So we are now a family of three indoor R's:



And Now Ryder:

Now we must not leave out the other two cats in our lives....Sky who is a permanent outside resident and Momma/Blackie...she lives part of her days outside and the other part with Brat Baby because she likes NO ONE!

Could that be why she and Brat Baby love each other so much because they are so much alike!

So there you have it a prom dress and a puppy all in one spring break day.

Who could ask for anything more?

Peace out,

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

What Begins With The Letter P?

Well let me tell you what begins with the letter P.

Over spring break (ah just the sound of those two words brings me a wonderful feeling going down my spine) I took the girls to the big O town where we went off in search of Brat Baby a Prom dress.

There is the first P word.

Prom Dress.

Pictures will come later.

We went to the worlds largest JC Penneys while we were there and WOW was that something.

I don't usually get excited about clothing stores because I am so stinkin frugal that I don't like to pay department store prices when Sally down the street will do it for me and then I can buy it for fifty cents at her garage sale next season. But let me tell you the clothes were unbelievable!

Brat Baby tried on three dress.

The first one was the one she feel in love with and the girls and I were like.......

Girls: well it is different......maybe a little too different.

Baby Girl: You look like a mermaid

So then Brat Baby tried on a different dress.

She loved it even more.

Girls: You look a little to official!

Baby Girl: You look like Belle from Beauty and the Beast!

Finally Brat Baby tried on dress number 3.

I was in another dressing room trying on some fly jeans that I knew I must own. (Yes I just said fly.....I like that groovy word)

When I hear:

Not The Baby: Oh yes, you will buy that one!

Baby Girl: Uhh Huhh that is it, we are done!

So I think to myself, what are those girls talking about, I mean really how great could it be, it is another dress, all big and shinny like the other ones.

So I opened my dressing room door looking good in those jeans I had on and here is what I saw:

I saw my Brat Baby not looking like a brat!

I saw my Brat Baby looking as beautiful as her third Easter in a homemade dress with all her little curls all over her cute little toe head and her little gap between her two front teeth..................and crap now I am crying!

So much of my time with Brat Baby is spent fighting with her that I tend to forget those times when she was so young and innocent and full of life and love and the moment I saw her in that dress it all came crashing down on my world and I remembered it all!

She was a light in the darkness.

A shine on a silver spoon.

A drink of fresh water.

A new moon.

A shining sun.

She was my Brat Baby and she looked phenomenal!

So needless to say we walked out of the worlds biggest JC Penneys store owning that dress. some really cute shoes with it and somehow some really fly jeans ended up in our bag also!

Tomorrow I will tell you about the other letter P word.

A hint.......

You cant buy it at the Worlds Largest JC Penneys!

Happy Tuesday!

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Wow It Has Been A Long Time!

Oh my gosh I have so many things to write about and no idea of where to start.

One great things is when I woke this morning to yelping I saw something that I have not seen in a few days.

The beautiful sun.

All round and gleaming.

Full of spring time beaming.

Yesterdays snow fall felt so weird. I am usually happy about snow fall because then it would mean a possible day home with the kids off from school but heck this is spring and no chance of that happening.

All soccer games had to be cancelled and that was a bummer because I am actually ready to get my soccer tan (aka farmers tan).

So instead we did some laundry!

Boy was that a blast.

Then I made chocolate covered strawberries and we ate them in 15 minutes.

Then I made the most delicious roasted chicken and ate that in 5 minutes.

And since were still hungry for chocolate I made some no bake cookies and Devil Dog ate those in 10 minutes......all of them!

Even though my instructions to Not The Baby were before I walked out the door to take Baby Girl to Picture Mommas house for a play date was as follows:

Momma: Not The Baby, you will have to watch these cookies because if you don't Rex will get them!

Not The Baby: Well push them to the center of the table!

Momma: Not The Baby, Rex can get to any part of this table that he wants plus all of the kitchen counter tops, Honey he is a big boy!

Not The Baby: Ok Momma.

Momma: Ok Not The Baby

So off Baby Girl and I go to her bff's house leaving behind the three other Babies, Papa, Our extended family member Girl Next Door, and Brat Babies boyfriend.....hummmm lets call him.....
Keep Your Hands To Yourself Boy Or Momma Will Kick Your Ass And You Will Wish You Never Met Brat Baby!

Ok, so what I don't trust teenagers and especially the ones that stand to pee.

Remember I have one of them.

Anyway my gosh I am getting lost on that......which reminds me of a story that I will share with you on another date.

Anyway as I was drinking coffee at Picture Mommas house and complaining about Papa my cell phone rings.

Momma: Hello?

Not The Baby: Momma?

Momma: Yes honey?

Not The Baby: Momma Rex got a cookie.

Momma: really?

Not The Baby: Yes!

Momma: Well were you not watching him honey?

Not The Baby: Well I was and then he went to lay down and pretended that he was sleeping.

Momma: Ahh the old sleeping trick huh!

Not The Baby: Yes that one Momma.

Momma: Well how bad is it?

Not The Baby: Well Momma he ate every cookie....

Momma: WHAT!

Not The Baby: Every Cookie Momma

Momma: Oh Not The Baby, you have to watch that fart!

Not The Baby: I know I am sorry Momma.

Momma: That's ok

Not The Baby: Can we make some more cookies when you get home?

Momma: No that dang devil ate the last of our oatmeal!

And here I thought he was being such a good boy lately.

Never trust a wolf in sheep's wool!

Also never trust a Papa to do a Momma's job!!!!!!!

I may have to make a trip into town so that I can get Not The Baby some more oatmeal so that the two legged animals in this house can have a cookie today.

Happy Sun Shining Day!

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Thought Provoking

I went to a writers workshop headed up by a dear friend of mine.

Every time I am around this friend he leaves me in thought.

He leaves me feeling like there is a whole world at my finger tips just waiting for me to take a turn at.

Even though this is nothing that I don't already know, because I know that anyone can do anything and be anyone.

But we get lost in our daily lives of just being.

We get lost in the day to day rat race and though I would not change it for the world. I know that someday there will not be babies at home to raise and mouths to feed other than my own.

There will not be daily drama to deal with or sibling rivalry to control.

One day there will be just me.

Will I still always just be Momma?

And JUST seems like a word I should not use because to me Momma means everything.

There is no star brighter than a Mom. There is no man on earth that could take my place and so to use the word JUST seems belittling.

Or will I become something else, someone else or just find another part of me that I have yet to explore.

Or will I just dream about those things that I wanted to try, or envoy those that took the leap.

There are days that I wake up and see myself as someone who is yet to find her path. Then there are days that I wake up and say to myself, who could ask for anything more.

I feel comfort in the days of complete contentness.

I feel edgy on the days that I seek fulfillment.

So then I find myself walking around somewhere in the middle of both emotions.

Really I don't think one lifetime is enough to do everything I want to do and as I sat here I hear the clock ticking and I tell myself that life is to short for dreams only.

Then my babies walk in the room and tell me how much they love me and I think that I could die the happiest person on earth at that very moment.

Gawd I hate it when I think too much..................I need to just go to bed and dream happy content dreams. No sky diving in this dream!

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

If I Am This Bad At Thrity Something .......

My memory is about as good as a lady living out her 99th year in a rocking chair next to her window.

Sometimes I worry about it and think "you know maybe I should see a doctor!"

Then there are other times I just think, "no Momma you just need to focus better!"

Then there are times when my family makes me feel like a complete fool "Gosh Momma you don't remember anything I tell you do you?"

Papa however uses it to his advantage and says things like "Oh don't you remember I told you that I was going to be late getting home tonight?"


I know he is full of crap.

Now here is where it comes in handy for the kids.

Momma: Not The Baby you are grounded!

Not The Baby: no comment

Next day:

Not The Baby: Hey Momma can you take me to the basketball game?

Momma: What time?

I actually get her there and drop her off and then go.......

Momma: What the crap.......she just pulled a fast one on me!

Or Papa waits until I get back and says something like

Papa: I thought she was grounded?

Momma: Don't you know I forget ........damn tell me sooner what it is I told these kids!

I would like to think that this type of behavior is normal.

That Mommas around the world are forgetting what they say or do.

I mean really it is the children's fault that I am losing my mind.

Well that and Papas.

Maybe I should try some herbal remedy.

Drugs scare me so I think that I could not bring myself to ask the doctor for help.

Plus who wants to pay the doctor to tell you there is nothing wrong with you, or better yet my luck would be:

Doctor: Oh dear honey you should have gotten to me head is due to explode within the next two weeks and you will be a goner.

The doctor.....that is whole other blog about that fear!!!!!!!!

I swear I am getting worse by the day.

So help me...... make me feel better about myself.......hell lie to me if you have to.

Just let me know that I am not the only fool out there that would loose her head if it was not attached.

Happy Hang On To Your Head Tuesday!

Monday, February 23, 2009

It Was All About The Brat Baby

That's right my Brat Baby just hit the big 17!

I would love to say that she had a great birthday with lots of smiles and joyfulness all around her but she pretty much lived up to her name!

Even though everyone in the house tried to pull out of her why she was not so happy on her day she refused to say why!

I did however get her to smile a moment for this beautiful shot.

Oh the life of a teenage drama queen!

One day she will grow up and hopefully see that life was not near as drama filled as she once thought it was.

I love you Brat Baby!

Friday, February 13, 2009

Never Enough!

Time that is!

There has been so many little stories that I want to share with you and yet with Azazel's birthday and Brat Baby having a birthday next week and well the holiday of sweethearts upon us, I simply can not get enough time in the day!

Ok so I am stretching it a little using Valentines day as an excuse seeing that Papa does not have a sweet loving bone in his body to think of his one and only woman for the last 21 years!

That is why I along with many other woman in this world will be out buying her own Valentine gift!

What should I buy myself this year?

So I promise to post this weekend for I am longing to write but right now I still have to finish my valentine cards to my kids in class.

Happy Friday and I hope your loved one remembers you on the big V-Day!

Monday, February 2, 2009

What Does The Hog Say?

What day is it?

You got it Ground Hog Day!

I woke Baby Girl at 6:30 to watch Phil come out of his stump and see if he was to see his shadow.

Well in case you have not heard.

Here is what Phil saw:

Phil was happy for his Steelers and unfortunately saw his shadow!

Sorry my dear friends but that means 6 more weeks of winter!

Happy Ground Hog Day!

Friday, January 30, 2009

Freaky Friday!

This morning I woke up an hour later than I should have and to the fact that I had been having a really weird dream for sometime.

In this dream I let Not The Baby go to New York with several other of her 14 year old friends and not one parent along for the ride.

Why on earth would I do that?

So I always try to figure out why I am having some weird dream.

Maybe it is because Brat Baby says that when she turns 18 she is going to New York with friends?

Is it because Not The Baby has the power to talk me and her father into almost anything?

Is it because I watched American Idol last night and they were in New York?

Is is because Not The Baby told me she was wanted to go the mall by herself and meet up with some friends?

Well what ever it may be I just know that not one of my babies is going anywhere by their selves any time soon.

Why they ask?

Because I had a bad dream by golly, that's why!

Happy Hope You Had A Better Dream Then Me Friday!

Thursday, January 29, 2009

And We Think They Are Not Listening

On January 20 Baby Girl woke up all excited about the inauguration of our new president.

So much that she made this poster:

Well the next day when she woke up she was listening to the news channel that I had on tv.

On the news was talk about Sen Kennedy and what happened to him at President Obama's Luncheon. How he had a seizure while he was there and had to be taken by ambulance to the hospital.

Baby Girl yelled at me to come to her.

Baby Girl: Momma, you know that man that did this (she starts shaking her body) at Obama's lunch?

Momma: You mean Sen. Kennedy who had a seizure?

Baby Girl: Yes Momma, that guy.

Momma: Well yes

Baby Girl: They found out what caused it.

Momma: Really what?

Baby Girl: It was the tea at the luncheon.

Momma: What?

Baby Girl: The tea!

Momma: Oh you mean FATIGUE!

Baby Girl: Something like that, yes that!

Momma: Baby Girl have I told you how much I love you?

Baby Girl: Yes Momma

Just when we think they are not listening, trust me they are!

Happy back to school and back to reality

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Darn The Luck

Well chance won and we were out of school today and guess what we are out of school tomorrow also.....Sorry Karl that you have to work and get out in this.

I promise to stop doing the indian snow dance so that the drive to work will be better.

Not to mention Picture Momma is probably pulling her hair out with the kids stuck inside for days.

We have mixed feelings at our house about the weather canceling every thing.

Baby Boy actually like college and wants to go back to be around his peers and not get so far behind that they load him up on major assignments just to make up for all the snow days.

Brat Baby is ready to go back and get the hell out of dodge. Those were almost her exact words. (It has been an exciting day with that baby)

Not The Baby is really enjoying being off, that way she can try out different hair styles and see if she can come up with a new way to knock the socks off those little middle school boys. (The boys are about to drive me crazy)

Baby Girl loves, loves, loves to be out of school, that way she does not have to take off her pajamas ever and she never has to brush her hair.....Oh wait she does not do that any way. Well she does not have to argue with me about brushing her hair.

Me well Martha and I spent an hour together today and I watched that skinny little Italian girl and she made me want to cook some mini cheesecakes. I did dishes and laundry and Oh I cheated and taught Baby Girl how to cheat at UNO.

My Grandmother is probably rolling over in her grave over that one. She hated playing with sorry losers. I just didn't want Baby Boy to win again.

What will tomorrow bring??

Cheesecake, painting, bread making and stress over the fact that I will have to go back to work the next day!

Oh well I will just enjoy the time I have at home and dream of summer vacation and time with my friends.


Water slides

Zoo trips

Garden growing

And most heavenly of all


Monday, January 26, 2009

There Is A Chance.....

There is a chance that tomorrow I may not get out of my pajamas before noon.

There is a chance that I may get to drink coffee all day long tomorrow.

There is a chance that I can lay in my bed tomorrow and watch Martha and Barefoot Contessa and dream of reproducing the wonderful concoctions that they are so good at.

There is a chance that I could bake some bread tomorrow, maybe even something new and maybe with a friend.

There is a chance that I could get to witness sibling rivalry all day tomorrow.

There is a chance that Papa will be griping and I will be happy tomorrow.

There is a chance that this poverty level workin Momma might not have school tomorrow.

Because old man winter is suppose to blow in something that scares the bus drivers and Mommas alike.

Hey I like chances and I LOVE Snow Days.............

Sunday, January 25, 2009


You mean this thing is still here?

I have had so many emotional roller coaster rides over the last month or so and for some reason I am always suspicious that they are not over.

But on a much brighter note I have good news to tell of.

For the last 5 months I have been pretending that I lived like those in Little House On The Prairie and boiled my water for baths!

I thought it would be fun to act as though you were only making poverty level wages working for the good of man kind caring for sweet young mind children 7 hours a day.

Oh wait a minute that is what I do for a living and that is the level of income that I bring home!

Ok so the truth is that the water heater went out this summer.

Picture Momma and Trauma Karl tried to lend me money to fix it but I did not want to take that much money from friends! I love you guys.

I kept thinking to myself that a break would come and I would just call up the plumber and get er done!

Well Thank Ya Baby Girl and I like to say!

Our ship came in and man did it sail out just as fast!

Over $800 later we have hot water!!!!!

Please hold while I do the hot water heater dance!!!!

I am ever so grateful for hot water, indoor plumbing, heating, electricity, roof over my head and family and friends!

Was it the worst thing ever?

Oh no, not by a long shot!

Do I currently need to seek the hands of a good chiropractic physician for all the strain to my back caused from carrying a large stockpot of water from the kitchen to the bathroom three times a day?


Will I live though?

God I hope so!

I am woman hear me roar!

Happy freezing cold Sunday, I hope your water is warm!

Monday, January 5, 2009

Oh How They Run!

Tears that is....

Over the Christmas break I went with some friends to see the movie Marley and Me.

Before I went several people had told me..."Well you may not want to see it the dog dies you know."

Momma: So what the dog dies. People die too you know.

Momma: Does everyone care more about a dog than about human life.

So what does Not The Baby have to say about that?

Not The Baby: So! Dogs don't have control about what happens to them, they rely on people to care for them.

Not The Baby:That is why people love dogs so much! That is why people cry over dogs dying!

Not the Baby: Get a heart Momma!


Momma: You are telling me to get a heart!

Momma: You are talking to the very person that gave birth to your big head and let me tell you baby, that hurt like hell!

Momma: I care, I have a heart. I just think it is stupid for people to act like it is the end of the world when a dog dies in a movie!

Not The Baby: Whatever Momma!

Momma: Yea whatever!

So I go to the movies with three of my amigos and when we sit down I ask Miss E if Mrs. B has tissue?

Mrs. B said that she did not bring tissue.

I think to myself what in the heck was she thinking, she is going to be bawling her head off, she is the dog lover of all dog lovers and she DID NOT BRING TISSUE!

So the movie starts just as the book did, where Marley is a total pain in the butt and the fact that those people did not walk his happy little butt to the SPCA is a total miracle.

(Look who is talking, I house Azazel, remember....who is currently being screamed at as I type.)

The dog gets older and older and older.

Then one day the dog can not make it up the stairs to go to bed with his beloved master, so his master sleeps on the floor with Marley.




How sweet of him to sleep on the floor with him, personally I would have just carried the dog to the bed, but hey it was sweet.

Then the dog gets sick.

The dog may die.





Then guess what happens?

You got it, he kicks the bucket.






I am now crying so hard that my shirt is getting all wet from my tears.

I look to my right and Miss E is crying, well I think she is.

I look to my left and Miss P is crying, well I am pretty sure she is crying.

Then the writer of this stupid movie keeps the camera on the master and his precious old boy while the vet puts him to sleep.

I am bawling, I make this funny noise out of my nose and I can see out of the corner of my eye that Miss E is looking at me.

Oh crap!

I think I am going to loose it.

I try to think happy thoughts......I am grinning from ear to ear now and I see Miss P out of the corner of my left eye turn to look at me.

Shit she is going to think that I am some heartless sicko that has no care in the world for a living being when she sees me smiling, not knowing that this is the only way that I can keep from busting out loud.

I stop smiling and the emotions are starting to build up again to the point of combustion.

Please God I say, let someone in this dog loving packed theater start blubbering out loud before I do.

What happens if I let it go, I am afraid that I will not be able to stop myself.

Oh would this be payback for all those things that I have said about people who cry over dogs?

Ok forgive me for I am sorry.

I am so stinkin sorry.

I was wrong, I was dead wrong!

Finally I put my purse in front of my face so that I can not see the movie screen, but that draws the attention of my friends to myself.

So I put the purse down.

I start to almost burst out laughing again!

(I know it is weird, but that is sometimes how I handle situations that are just a little too much for me.)

Breathe.....I keep telling myself. Think of happy thoughts but not too happy.

(hmmm.....I know Baby Boy finally getting a job is a real happy thought....think of that)

Then finally it is over!

My Gawd they drug the death scene on FOREVER!

I was never so ready to leave a theater than I was to leave this one.

When we were out in the light I tried to see if there were any heartless people out there that did not cry.

I mean there is no way you could sit through this movie and not cry like and infant.

I think I saw one lady dry as a bone!

What a witch!

My girlfriends agreed to hang out with me for thirty more minutes while I wait for Brat Baby to get off work. So we went over to a restaurant and had drinks and dessert.

Brat Baby showed and we headed home.

When I get to the house I go straight for the bathroom and I happen to catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror...........

Well not exactly like this but see all the black under his eyes.

Yes that is what my eyes looked like while I was sitting at the restaurant conversing with friends after that damn movie!

I didn't even think I wore that much make-up but it was all under my eyes like I had just been sucker punched.

I think Not The Baby works in mysterious ways!

Yours truly,
The Crying Over A Dog In A Movie Momma!

Happy Tuesday!

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Oh The Dreaded Monday!

For two weeks I have been able to stay at home and not work thanks to this wonderful little holiday we call Christmas Break.

I have not had to deal with anything work related (Thank you Baby Jesus!)

I have been able to spend endless time with my Babies.

Time with my Babies friends.

Time with my close friends.

See some really great movies.

Cry (a lot) about a really great movie.

Play the Wii that Santa brought.

Do endless amounts of laundry (now talk about a lifetime highlight)

Make some really great new dishes.

Install a light that has been sitting around here in a box for six months.

Take Devil dog on lots of outings.

Eat P F Changs!

Spend time with family that I adore.

Organize some cabinets and one drawer.

Fill and run the dishwasher three times a day!

And so on and so on........

All in all I worked my tail off and I am going to miss the free labor that I perform around here as I head back to work at the L.B.

So wish me luck......

The next time I get a really good break will be five months from now.

I feel The Little Engine That Could, I keep having to tell myself..." I think I can , I think I can, I think I can.

Happy Get My Butt Out Of Bed Monday!

Friday, January 2, 2009

Here Is A Short Friday Funny!

For the last week and a half I have watched Baby Girl sitting around the house enjoying the fact that she does not have to dress for school.

So her pajamas that are four sizes too small have not left her cute little toosh for any long periods of time.

Her hair if not soon brushed will become dreadlocks.

And if the candy canes in this house do not disappear soon then she and our dentist will be on a first name basis relationship.

So I had had it!

I was tired of seeing her sitting on her rump watching tv and eating!

Momma: That is it!

Momma: Turn off the TV and go find something to play with now!

Baby Girl: WAHHHH

Momma: Oh stop it!

Baby Girl: Well what should I play with......

Momma: Oh I don't know what about the hundreds of dollars worth of horses that you have been collecting for years.

Baby Girl: OK OK OK

So guess what?

She has been playing with her toys for two whole days now!!!


Ok so here is where the funny comes in.

Baby Girl comes up to me a minute ago and says:

Baby Girl: Hey Momma I am playing with my Barbies and I just wanted to let you know that I don't have any boy barbies.

Momma: Oh ok

Baby Girl: Well I just did not want you to freak out!

Momma: Why would I freak out?

Baby Girl: Well because I am pretending that one of the girls is the husband.

Momma: Oh imagination is a great thing Baby Girl......

But guess what the damn tv is not........Baby Girl was afraid that I would think that she is pretending that she is having a lesbian relationship going on with her Barbies!!!!

Well of course she did not say Lesbian or gay, but she didn't have to.

Ok not to offend anyone, if you are gay then more power to you, I am not one to judge love.

Just, well.....

I think I will end it at that!

Do You Ever Guess?

Do you ever sit around and guess what your kids may grow up and be?

Or if your children are grown do you ever wonder if they went down a different road in life's highway that they would be driving a much different path?

Baby Boy is one of those kids that had pretty much lucked into EVERYTHING!

I also think he is one of those kids that is so used to it that he doesn't see the opportunity's that he is given when they are right in front of his face.

Man I hope he grows out of that one. (and many other things but I will not go into him because I don't want to get that angry on the 2nd day of 2009)

Baby Boy can also be very righteous and very loving, totally a first child!

Brat Baby.....well I see her being an artist or someone in charge of herself and what see does on a daily basis. She will have this studio selling her work and some lady with something up her butt will walk in critiquing her work in a way she does not like and Brat Baby will tell her "Don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya!"

(Ok secretly I think we would all like that power!)

At the same time she is my most giving child in the house!

Not The Baby......this one can be confusing. She is the most lovable girl in the world! Everyone loves Not The Baby. (except for lately she has been developing an attitude.....I know she is a teenager, but I really thought she would not change)
She has a real love for animals and Oh yes she thinks that business men in their little Honda's are cute! (Yes she actually said that) She could go two ways that I see.......

Life Path #1 Not The Baby could marry the man of her dreams and never have to lift a finger...EVER

Life Path #2 Not The Baby could change the world, if she has a passion and a love she has a way of making you fall for whatever she is saying. There is just something about her that makes you want to follow and love this child. There really is something different about her.

I pray she will take Path #2 first and then go back and visit path #1

Baby Girl........Oh where do I even begin!

First off she currently loves boys way too much and guess what, they love her way too much also. She had this power about her to draw people to her.

She also dreams of putting on plays of playing the star!

Like in school when you are in third grade or above you can participate in the school talent show.
Well she has had plans for what she will perform for the last two years and she still has one more year before she can even participate.

She know Mamma Mia almost word for word and I am not talking only about the music in the musical but all of the speaking parts as well.

Next month is the Children's Musical Theater play of the Princess and the Pea and she is already practicing on next months tryouts!

She has always loved to perform, when she was two she put on a show for some friends at a soccer game that her older sister was playing in and right away our friend M was saying "she is going to be a performer."

She is very good at acting when she wants to, she has told me some BIG stories, where she had me going there for a while and then I finally figured out that she was full of it!

So where will she go, only time will tell, but man would I love to see her in lights on Broadway!

The funny is that I not only dream of what my children are going to do but man I have so many things that I myself would like to try when I grow up!

Never stop dreaming and always try something new for life isn't over until its over.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Happy New Year!

I can not wait until I can start writing again on a regular basis.

I just could not resist telling all of you Happy New Year.

I do have stories to tell and funny things to share.

Maybe this should be a new years resolution for me:

New Years Resolution #1 Always write my blog, because it makes me happy!

New Years Resolution #2 Get off my butt more so that my butt will stop growing!

Wait a minute!

If I vow to write always, guess what?

That puts me sitting on butt!

Oh well I think this is going to be the year of making Momma feel good, so if I want to write damn it, I am going to write!

Oh that last sentence brings me to New Years Resolution #3 Curse Less!!!

I hope that this New Year brings everyone joy, health, prosperity and just good old fashion Fun!