Friday, January 30, 2009

Freaky Friday!

This morning I woke up an hour later than I should have and to the fact that I had been having a really weird dream for sometime.

In this dream I let Not The Baby go to New York with several other of her 14 year old friends and not one parent along for the ride.

Why on earth would I do that?

So I always try to figure out why I am having some weird dream.

Maybe it is because Brat Baby says that when she turns 18 she is going to New York with friends?

Is it because Not The Baby has the power to talk me and her father into almost anything?

Is it because I watched American Idol last night and they were in New York?

Is is because Not The Baby told me she was wanted to go the mall by herself and meet up with some friends?

Well what ever it may be I just know that not one of my babies is going anywhere by their selves any time soon.

Why they ask?

Because I had a bad dream by golly, that's why!

Happy Hope You Had A Better Dream Then Me Friday!

Thursday, January 29, 2009

And We Think They Are Not Listening

On January 20 Baby Girl woke up all excited about the inauguration of our new president.

So much that she made this poster:

Well the next day when she woke up she was listening to the news channel that I had on tv.

On the news was talk about Sen Kennedy and what happened to him at President Obama's Luncheon. How he had a seizure while he was there and had to be taken by ambulance to the hospital.

Baby Girl yelled at me to come to her.

Baby Girl: Momma, you know that man that did this (she starts shaking her body) at Obama's lunch?

Momma: You mean Sen. Kennedy who had a seizure?

Baby Girl: Yes Momma, that guy.

Momma: Well yes

Baby Girl: They found out what caused it.

Momma: Really what?

Baby Girl: It was the tea at the luncheon.

Momma: What?

Baby Girl: The tea!

Momma: Oh you mean FATIGUE!

Baby Girl: Something like that, yes that!

Momma: Baby Girl have I told you how much I love you?

Baby Girl: Yes Momma

Just when we think they are not listening, trust me they are!

Happy back to school and back to reality

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Darn The Luck

Well chance won and we were out of school today and guess what we are out of school tomorrow also.....Sorry Karl that you have to work and get out in this.

I promise to stop doing the indian snow dance so that the drive to work will be better.

Not to mention Picture Momma is probably pulling her hair out with the kids stuck inside for days.

We have mixed feelings at our house about the weather canceling every thing.

Baby Boy actually like college and wants to go back to be around his peers and not get so far behind that they load him up on major assignments just to make up for all the snow days.

Brat Baby is ready to go back and get the hell out of dodge. Those were almost her exact words. (It has been an exciting day with that baby)

Not The Baby is really enjoying being off, that way she can try out different hair styles and see if she can come up with a new way to knock the socks off those little middle school boys. (The boys are about to drive me crazy)

Baby Girl loves, loves, loves to be out of school, that way she does not have to take off her pajamas ever and she never has to brush her hair.....Oh wait she does not do that any way. Well she does not have to argue with me about brushing her hair.

Me well Martha and I spent an hour together today and I watched that skinny little Italian girl and she made me want to cook some mini cheesecakes. I did dishes and laundry and Oh I cheated and taught Baby Girl how to cheat at UNO.

My Grandmother is probably rolling over in her grave over that one. She hated playing with sorry losers. I just didn't want Baby Boy to win again.

What will tomorrow bring??

Cheesecake, painting, bread making and stress over the fact that I will have to go back to work the next day!

Oh well I will just enjoy the time I have at home and dream of summer vacation and time with my friends.


Water slides

Zoo trips

Garden growing

And most heavenly of all


Monday, January 26, 2009

There Is A Chance.....

There is a chance that tomorrow I may not get out of my pajamas before noon.

There is a chance that I may get to drink coffee all day long tomorrow.

There is a chance that I can lay in my bed tomorrow and watch Martha and Barefoot Contessa and dream of reproducing the wonderful concoctions that they are so good at.

There is a chance that I could bake some bread tomorrow, maybe even something new and maybe with a friend.

There is a chance that I could get to witness sibling rivalry all day tomorrow.

There is a chance that Papa will be griping and I will be happy tomorrow.

There is a chance that this poverty level workin Momma might not have school tomorrow.

Because old man winter is suppose to blow in something that scares the bus drivers and Mommas alike.

Hey I like chances and I LOVE Snow Days.............

Sunday, January 25, 2009


You mean this thing is still here?

I have had so many emotional roller coaster rides over the last month or so and for some reason I am always suspicious that they are not over.

But on a much brighter note I have good news to tell of.

For the last 5 months I have been pretending that I lived like those in Little House On The Prairie and boiled my water for baths!

I thought it would be fun to act as though you were only making poverty level wages working for the good of man kind caring for sweet young mind children 7 hours a day.

Oh wait a minute that is what I do for a living and that is the level of income that I bring home!

Ok so the truth is that the water heater went out this summer.

Picture Momma and Trauma Karl tried to lend me money to fix it but I did not want to take that much money from friends! I love you guys.

I kept thinking to myself that a break would come and I would just call up the plumber and get er done!

Well Thank Ya Baby Girl and I like to say!

Our ship came in and man did it sail out just as fast!

Over $800 later we have hot water!!!!!

Please hold while I do the hot water heater dance!!!!

I am ever so grateful for hot water, indoor plumbing, heating, electricity, roof over my head and family and friends!

Was it the worst thing ever?

Oh no, not by a long shot!

Do I currently need to seek the hands of a good chiropractic physician for all the strain to my back caused from carrying a large stockpot of water from the kitchen to the bathroom three times a day?


Will I live though?

God I hope so!

I am woman hear me roar!

Happy freezing cold Sunday, I hope your water is warm!

Monday, January 5, 2009

Oh How They Run!

Tears that is....

Over the Christmas break I went with some friends to see the movie Marley and Me.

Before I went several people had told me..."Well you may not want to see it the dog dies you know."

Momma: So what the dog dies. People die too you know.

Momma: Does everyone care more about a dog than about human life.

So what does Not The Baby have to say about that?

Not The Baby: So! Dogs don't have control about what happens to them, they rely on people to care for them.

Not The Baby:That is why people love dogs so much! That is why people cry over dogs dying!

Not the Baby: Get a heart Momma!


Momma: You are telling me to get a heart!

Momma: You are talking to the very person that gave birth to your big head and let me tell you baby, that hurt like hell!

Momma: I care, I have a heart. I just think it is stupid for people to act like it is the end of the world when a dog dies in a movie!

Not The Baby: Whatever Momma!

Momma: Yea whatever!

So I go to the movies with three of my amigos and when we sit down I ask Miss E if Mrs. B has tissue?

Mrs. B said that she did not bring tissue.

I think to myself what in the heck was she thinking, she is going to be bawling her head off, she is the dog lover of all dog lovers and she DID NOT BRING TISSUE!

So the movie starts just as the book did, where Marley is a total pain in the butt and the fact that those people did not walk his happy little butt to the SPCA is a total miracle.

(Look who is talking, I house Azazel, remember....who is currently being screamed at as I type.)

The dog gets older and older and older.

Then one day the dog can not make it up the stairs to go to bed with his beloved master, so his master sleeps on the floor with Marley.




How sweet of him to sleep on the floor with him, personally I would have just carried the dog to the bed, but hey it was sweet.

Then the dog gets sick.

The dog may die.





Then guess what happens?

You got it, he kicks the bucket.






I am now crying so hard that my shirt is getting all wet from my tears.

I look to my right and Miss E is crying, well I think she is.

I look to my left and Miss P is crying, well I am pretty sure she is crying.

Then the writer of this stupid movie keeps the camera on the master and his precious old boy while the vet puts him to sleep.

I am bawling, I make this funny noise out of my nose and I can see out of the corner of my eye that Miss E is looking at me.

Oh crap!

I think I am going to loose it.

I try to think happy thoughts......I am grinning from ear to ear now and I see Miss P out of the corner of my left eye turn to look at me.

Shit she is going to think that I am some heartless sicko that has no care in the world for a living being when she sees me smiling, not knowing that this is the only way that I can keep from busting out loud.

I stop smiling and the emotions are starting to build up again to the point of combustion.

Please God I say, let someone in this dog loving packed theater start blubbering out loud before I do.

What happens if I let it go, I am afraid that I will not be able to stop myself.

Oh would this be payback for all those things that I have said about people who cry over dogs?

Ok forgive me for I am sorry.

I am so stinkin sorry.

I was wrong, I was dead wrong!

Finally I put my purse in front of my face so that I can not see the movie screen, but that draws the attention of my friends to myself.

So I put the purse down.

I start to almost burst out laughing again!

(I know it is weird, but that is sometimes how I handle situations that are just a little too much for me.)

Breathe.....I keep telling myself. Think of happy thoughts but not too happy.

(hmmm.....I know Baby Boy finally getting a job is a real happy thought....think of that)

Then finally it is over!

My Gawd they drug the death scene on FOREVER!

I was never so ready to leave a theater than I was to leave this one.

When we were out in the light I tried to see if there were any heartless people out there that did not cry.

I mean there is no way you could sit through this movie and not cry like and infant.

I think I saw one lady dry as a bone!

What a witch!

My girlfriends agreed to hang out with me for thirty more minutes while I wait for Brat Baby to get off work. So we went over to a restaurant and had drinks and dessert.

Brat Baby showed and we headed home.

When I get to the house I go straight for the bathroom and I happen to catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror...........

Well not exactly like this but see all the black under his eyes.

Yes that is what my eyes looked like while I was sitting at the restaurant conversing with friends after that damn movie!

I didn't even think I wore that much make-up but it was all under my eyes like I had just been sucker punched.

I think Not The Baby works in mysterious ways!

Yours truly,
The Crying Over A Dog In A Movie Momma!

Happy Tuesday!

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Oh The Dreaded Monday!

For two weeks I have been able to stay at home and not work thanks to this wonderful little holiday we call Christmas Break.

I have not had to deal with anything work related (Thank you Baby Jesus!)

I have been able to spend endless time with my Babies.

Time with my Babies friends.

Time with my close friends.

See some really great movies.

Cry (a lot) about a really great movie.

Play the Wii that Santa brought.

Do endless amounts of laundry (now talk about a lifetime highlight)

Make some really great new dishes.

Install a light that has been sitting around here in a box for six months.

Take Devil dog on lots of outings.

Eat P F Changs!

Spend time with family that I adore.

Organize some cabinets and one drawer.

Fill and run the dishwasher three times a day!

And so on and so on........

All in all I worked my tail off and I am going to miss the free labor that I perform around here as I head back to work at the L.B.

So wish me luck......

The next time I get a really good break will be five months from now.

I feel The Little Engine That Could, I keep having to tell myself..." I think I can , I think I can, I think I can.

Happy Get My Butt Out Of Bed Monday!

Friday, January 2, 2009

Here Is A Short Friday Funny!

For the last week and a half I have watched Baby Girl sitting around the house enjoying the fact that she does not have to dress for school.

So her pajamas that are four sizes too small have not left her cute little toosh for any long periods of time.

Her hair if not soon brushed will become dreadlocks.

And if the candy canes in this house do not disappear soon then she and our dentist will be on a first name basis relationship.

So I had had it!

I was tired of seeing her sitting on her rump watching tv and eating!

Momma: That is it!

Momma: Turn off the TV and go find something to play with now!

Baby Girl: WAHHHH

Momma: Oh stop it!

Baby Girl: Well what should I play with......

Momma: Oh I don't know what about the hundreds of dollars worth of horses that you have been collecting for years.

Baby Girl: OK OK OK

So guess what?

She has been playing with her toys for two whole days now!!!


Ok so here is where the funny comes in.

Baby Girl comes up to me a minute ago and says:

Baby Girl: Hey Momma I am playing with my Barbies and I just wanted to let you know that I don't have any boy barbies.

Momma: Oh ok

Baby Girl: Well I just did not want you to freak out!

Momma: Why would I freak out?

Baby Girl: Well because I am pretending that one of the girls is the husband.

Momma: Oh imagination is a great thing Baby Girl......

But guess what the damn tv is not........Baby Girl was afraid that I would think that she is pretending that she is having a lesbian relationship going on with her Barbies!!!!

Well of course she did not say Lesbian or gay, but she didn't have to.

Ok not to offend anyone, if you are gay then more power to you, I am not one to judge love.

Just, well.....

I think I will end it at that!

Do You Ever Guess?

Do you ever sit around and guess what your kids may grow up and be?

Or if your children are grown do you ever wonder if they went down a different road in life's highway that they would be driving a much different path?

Baby Boy is one of those kids that had pretty much lucked into EVERYTHING!

I also think he is one of those kids that is so used to it that he doesn't see the opportunity's that he is given when they are right in front of his face.

Man I hope he grows out of that one. (and many other things but I will not go into him because I don't want to get that angry on the 2nd day of 2009)

Baby Boy can also be very righteous and very loving, totally a first child!

Brat Baby.....well I see her being an artist or someone in charge of herself and what see does on a daily basis. She will have this studio selling her work and some lady with something up her butt will walk in critiquing her work in a way she does not like and Brat Baby will tell her "Don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya!"

(Ok secretly I think we would all like that power!)

At the same time she is my most giving child in the house!

Not The Baby......this one can be confusing. She is the most lovable girl in the world! Everyone loves Not The Baby. (except for lately she has been developing an attitude.....I know she is a teenager, but I really thought she would not change)
She has a real love for animals and Oh yes she thinks that business men in their little Honda's are cute! (Yes she actually said that) She could go two ways that I see.......

Life Path #1 Not The Baby could marry the man of her dreams and never have to lift a finger...EVER

Life Path #2 Not The Baby could change the world, if she has a passion and a love she has a way of making you fall for whatever she is saying. There is just something about her that makes you want to follow and love this child. There really is something different about her.

I pray she will take Path #2 first and then go back and visit path #1

Baby Girl........Oh where do I even begin!

First off she currently loves boys way too much and guess what, they love her way too much also. She had this power about her to draw people to her.

She also dreams of putting on plays of playing the star!

Like in school when you are in third grade or above you can participate in the school talent show.
Well she has had plans for what she will perform for the last two years and she still has one more year before she can even participate.

She know Mamma Mia almost word for word and I am not talking only about the music in the musical but all of the speaking parts as well.

Next month is the Children's Musical Theater play of the Princess and the Pea and she is already practicing on next months tryouts!

She has always loved to perform, when she was two she put on a show for some friends at a soccer game that her older sister was playing in and right away our friend M was saying "she is going to be a performer."

She is very good at acting when she wants to, she has told me some BIG stories, where she had me going there for a while and then I finally figured out that she was full of it!

So where will she go, only time will tell, but man would I love to see her in lights on Broadway!

The funny is that I not only dream of what my children are going to do but man I have so many things that I myself would like to try when I grow up!

Never stop dreaming and always try something new for life isn't over until its over.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Happy New Year!

I can not wait until I can start writing again on a regular basis.

I just could not resist telling all of you Happy New Year.

I do have stories to tell and funny things to share.

Maybe this should be a new years resolution for me:

New Years Resolution #1 Always write my blog, because it makes me happy!

New Years Resolution #2 Get off my butt more so that my butt will stop growing!

Wait a minute!

If I vow to write always, guess what?

That puts me sitting on butt!

Oh well I think this is going to be the year of making Momma feel good, so if I want to write damn it, I am going to write!

Oh that last sentence brings me to New Years Resolution #3 Curse Less!!!

I hope that this New Year brings everyone joy, health, prosperity and just good old fashion Fun!