Saturday, August 30, 2008

Happy Happy Day!

Today I got to sleep past 6 AM.

Today I get to watch lots of soccer!

I hope your day and your weekend is full of fun things to do.

Stay safe!


Friday, August 29, 2008

Anyone Know A Cheap Therapist?

Now I know what you are thinking.

The therapist must be for the Momma.

Well guess what........

Not for me.

Not for Papa

Not for Brat Baby (though that is still in question, please don't hate me Brat Baby, I really do love you)

But for my one and only Not The Baby.

Last night as we were laying in bed.

Remember she has to sleep with her Momma due to her new fear of her room since Brat Baby moved out.

Like I was saying,
Last night we were laying in bed and giggling and all of a sudden Not The Baby heard a noise.

Not The Baby screamed.

Momma and Baby Girl start laughing.

Baby Girl says: BOOOOO

Not The Baby screams louder

Momma is about to pee her pants, due to a bladder that is not longer any good since I had so many of these babies.

Then Not The Baby tells me:

Not The Baby: Momma, I think I may need counseling.

Momma: What???

Not The Baby: To get over all my fears, you know how am I going to live by myself when I get older if I am scared of everything.

Momma: Are you serious?

Not The Baby: Yes, I have been thinking about it.

Momma: Really??

Well honey really I am not so sure that you need counseling are you?



Momma: Ok maybe I will think about it, in the meantime hand me devil dogs muzzle to put on Baby Girl.

Soon to come the story of Not The Babies encounter with the bush and the weird neighbor.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

My Thursday Morning Greeting!

Last night Brat Baby and I did not see eye to eye.

Big surprise.

So after about what seemed to be forever of arguing, explaining to her that disrespect WILL NOT be tolerated in our home, I was really no further than I had been when I started.

So I gave up and went to bed.

But here is the problem:

I can not go to bed if I am fighting with one of my kids, I must first fix the problem.

So I head back into her room we managed to patch things.

Now grant it she may have been patching just to get me to leave her alone, but I will take whatever I can get.

So this morning when I come into her room to get on the computer to write my blog.

This was my greeting:

Brat Baby: WHAT do you want?

Momma: Honey it is 6 something.

Brat Baby pops up real fast and is searching for something.

Momma: Are you looking for the tv remote?


Momma: There it is.

(under my breath I say that the 8 hours she got did not do much good)

Brat Baby: MOTHERRRRR it is 6:20am I get up at 6:10am, THANKS A LOT FOR NOT WAKING ME!!!!!!

Momma: I was not aware that you get up at 6:10 am every morning.

(ok, here she is feeding me crap, because I have woke her up later than that and she didn't bitch about the time)

Momma: Well I'm sorry my little sweet bundle of happiness, I will be sure to WAKE YOUR HAPPY LITTLE BUTT UP AT 6:00AM TOMORROW TO MAKE UP FOR THE LOST 10 MINUTES!

Momma: Anything else I can help you with sugar plum?


Happy Freakin Thursday!!!!!!!!


Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Hump Day Hoooo Rahhhh

Well time is not allowing for much writing this morning.

I am already ready for the weekend.

I think we should do a hump day dance!!!

But I am too tired to dance!

I am going to ignore that I woke up to Papa cursing all of our animals.

I am going to ignore that I woke up to a whole bottle of glue on my carpet due to devil dog could not find anything better to chew on.

Unfortunately it did not glue his or Papa's mouth shut!

I however will not be stopped by 8 oz. of Elmer's best, Papa's bitching mouth or the razor blade that devil dog just tried to chew up and left on the floor for me to step on.


Oh No Brat Baby is up.



Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Death Rays Are Upon Me!

Please oh Please do not attempt to approach Baby Girl about any embarrassing stories.

I am officially in big trouble for posting a certain story this morning.

Wish me luck,

Baby Girl Why Are You Walking So Funny!

Here is a short little tid bit for your Tuesday Morning:

Last night I was sitting at the kitchen table trying to just take a deep breath and talk to my sister for a moment.

I had just spent the last two hours frantically trying to get dinner done all the laundry done and plans for the girls lunch tomorrow.

Not to mention I had already made FOUR trips to pick up and drop off Not The Baby at her two sporting events.

When all of a sudden Baby Girl walks into the kitchen with this funny look on her face.

Momma: What?

Baby Girl: What?

Momma: What's up Baby Girl?

Baby Girl: Oh nothing much, I just thought I would wear a pad like everyone else is wearing right now.

Momma: WHAT!

Baby Girl: Yeah and it feels kind of weird..Wanna See?

Momma: Oh no that really...

And before I could finish my sentence she had her pants down showing me that she too was part of the rag club that is going on around here.

I talked her into going back to the bathroom and removing the pad reassuring her that her day will come soon enough and she will NOT be happy when it does.

Oh the things she can get into when she is grounded from the TV.

I hope your Tuesday is pad free!

Sunday, August 24, 2008

What! I'm Tagged!

Thanks Heather!

If you are tagged, you must first post the rules:* Write 7 strange characteristics about yourself. They interest us all!* Tag 6 other people at the end of your Post.* Visit everyone that you have tagged and leave a comment on their blog to let them know that they have been tagged.

1. I used to be very very shy!

2. I wish I could be a secret agent for the government catching some kind of bad guy!

3. My right boob is bigger than my left. (did I really just say that??)

4. When I was younger I was in love with Michael Jackson (you know back when he was really a black person, not this white ghost looking thing)

5. When I was a little girl I used to want to be just like my daddy even going as far as walking around with no shirt on. I played with the other kids like that too. Until one day someone looked at me funny.

6. I hate hate hate fixng my hair and putting on make-up, it is like torture.

7. I always wanted to be a Walton (like if I could I would up root my family right this very minute and move us all to Walton's moutain).

So I dont think I know 6 people that have a blog that I could tag but I will try:

1. Renee



4.Heather (even though I know that is probablly against the rules, I am a rule breaker sometimes though)

5.Suzanne (with Chickens In The Road)

6. Oh what the heck, The Pioneer Woman

Saturday, August 23, 2008

In The Mean Time!

Some of you may know that I have started recycling.

I use to do it some time back when the city would come and get it from the curb but when they stopped doing that I stopped recycling myself.

Then when Brat Baby got a job, I was driving her to work and we passed the recycling center.

So I told myself that I would be a greener human being and in my new attempt to be more frugal also I would start recycling again.

So I bought this cute little box at hell-mart and we are filling that sucker everyday.

Then I have Not The Baby sort it all and place it shopping bags and into my favorite little black car.

My favorite little black car is nothing to look at mind you but that sweet little sucker can get you to a garage sale faster than the government can take your money. (so I'm lying about that part, no one is faster at getting something than the government).

Anyway like I was saying I have Not The Baby put them in the black car and then I will drop them off on my way to take Brat Baby to work.

But then you know what happens:

We are starting to look a little Sanford and Son, don't you think?

Soon To Come !

Me and fellow friends and co-workers pretending to be ABBA!

Wednesday, August 20, 2008


Good Morning you dedicated readers of my Sis's blog........
that's right, this is CHEF SILVER FOX, little Sis to "Momma", and I am writing today's blog!

Today, August 21, 2008, is a special day...........

37 years ago my Momma gave birth to the one you know as "Momma" I was laying in bed this past weekend I started to think......

"Hey, my Sis's birthday is coming up.......Hummmmm.....what did she do for my birthday.............

Oh Yeah!..she wrote a blog about me!"

And in that very moment the following started to pour from my brain cells, so fast that I had to get out of bed to find a pen and pencil.....this is too good not to write down, I thought.

Without further ado..........I give you......

An Ode to My Sis
I only have one Sis,
I call her Chris,
Mother had her first...What an ill tempered child,
4 years later there was happy and mild,
Enough about me, back to my Sis,
Her early cute years were something of a miss,
The '70's for her were more like..homely and plain,
I think we have Mom to blame,
Oh..but the '80's made her "Like Totally" a Valley Girl,
And she never left the house without her White Rain and Cover Girl,
Back then no one knew she had freckles,
her Cover Girl was so thick you couldn't see a speckle,
The big hair bands of the day had nothing on my Sis,
Her ID may have read 5'2" but with her hair she was 5'6",
I once caught her talking to herslef in the looking glass,
Actually, she was talking to Jon Bon Jovi about how he loved her ass,
Yes, her room had no sanctity...her door was no border,
I crossed it often to make dissarray of her order,
In those days our "closeness" was on and off, depending on the fight,
She could push me beyond my breaking point, and I would give her all my might,
I could not match her sharp tongue and wit,
But I bet my pencil stabbing her hurt a bit,
She still bears the lead in her hand to this day,
But she gets no sympathy from the one she always told.....
"When Mom had you, she wanted to give you away"
I can remember when my Sis first got married, dinner was from a can..
Now only the freshest ingredients can be found in her pan,
She is into earth friendly, homegrown and the Martha sceen,
But Lord forbid if your Saturday drive gets in the way of this Garage Sale Queen
Don't mess with her before she's had her coffee,
Cause she will break you like a cold piece of toffee,
She used to be shy and timid around people she didn't know,
But talk smack about her kid and watch her blow,
She takes great photo's of my neices and nephew, although I only have a few,
Her path is paved with good intentions of things to do,
Growing up our relationship had more lows than high,
But these days we are like 2 birds in the sky,
Now...we may not see eye to eye from now and then,
But we know our boundries and that will keep us friends to the end,
When we have turned old and gray,
And are husbands are gone and the kids moved away,
I still know my Sis will turn to me and say.........
"Mom really did want to give you away"
Happy 37th Birthday Sis!
I love you, even though you did scare me mentally!
Chief Silver Fox

On The Brighter Side Of Things!

I have always taught my children that life is what you make of it.

When family or friends ask me how on earth I can handle some of things I do, it's because I know that life is too short and things could always be worse.

Take for instance Baby Boy, we just had this talk yesterday.

He was ready to come home last night, even had himself a ride home.

But I think I have him convinced him that you cant always run from your problems, instead see what you can do to make them better.

Always look to the good things that you have going.

If you have your health, than praise God for that!

If you have people that love you, than praise God for that!

There are so many things to be thankful for even when things seem down and out.

One thing that I am so thankful for is of course my kids, I am thankful for my friends and on a good day when the moon is just right and the wind is out of the north in the summer time that is, I am thankful for Papa.

Oh, the man drives me crazy most of the time but of course life would not be the same without him.

I would have kicked him out with the morning trash if I didn't love him!

So on one of my many bright sides I have a tale of yesterday.

Not the phone call I got from Baby Boy about how life is terrible in him little southern town but a story about a little boy in my class.

Little Boy S was drawing a picture for his journal.

I came over to see what he was drawing, Little Boy S is a great artist.

So I asked him:

Momma: Hi Little Boy S, what have you drawn here?

Little Boy S: I have drawn you Mrs. T

Momma: Oh that is a really good drawing Little Boy S.

Little Boy S: It's you as an angel!

Right then and there my heart melted like a good bowl of butter with your favorite pasta.

Out of honesty though I must tell you that the little boy also drew a black hole from the milky way that swallowed me whole.

But I just like the first part.

May your day be bright today!

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

I Think I Am The One Having The Panic Attack, Either That Or I am Really Stressed!

Oh Wait they mean the same thing!

Ok well sorry for really not much of a blog this morning, you see my night last night was so crazy that I was unable to bring myself out of bed that is until my little sister called the house and woke me up!

Thank Goodness!

Last night started out with Papa telling me about is conversation with Baby Boy and all of his complaints.

Then I had a conversation with Baby Boy myself and we were somehow disconnected???

Then I had two other conversation's with Baby Boy, the first one sound reasonable then the second time I spoke to him he was ready to transfer schools right then, screw waiting until semester was over.

Then I came home and had Not The Baby climb our pear tree so that she could shake a few limbs so that Baby Girl and I could catch the pears in our rescue sheet that we had.

Oh then I got hit in the head with a pear, OUCH!

Then hit in the arm, FREAKIN OUCH!

Ok that was enough stupid pears.

After the abuse by the pears I went inside so that I could have a screaming conversation with Brat Baby about her algebra class and disrespect that she tends to show her parents.

So all in all it was on hell of a night.

So waking up late, having a conversation with my mother about Baby Boy has already got me stressed!

Does anyone know the number to the ambulance service here in town?

Monday, August 18, 2008

The Highway Tale Of Sorrow And Stress

Saturday late afternoon we are headed home from Not The Babies soccer tournament that was an hour from our home town.

We are driving down a highway that we have drivin down thousands of times with little to no traffic jams before.

When all of a sudden we hit a jam.

Please take note that Papa is driving.

Papa: My what is going on here?

I was half asleep since our day started out very early and sitting in the sun watching soccer is just, well its exhausting!

Yes, I know I am lazy!

I sit up to see what is going on.

Momma: Well I am not sure what it is, can you see a wreck up ahead?

Papa: No

Not The Baby: Wow that's a lot of cars!

Baby Girl: Yeah!

Momma: Wait a minute!

Momma: Look the cars on the other side of the road are pulling over.

Momma: We are driving along side a funeral precession.

Papa: Those people don't look like they are part of a funeral, that is just some of those cars that them lights come on even during the day.

Momma: No Papa I think we are driving beside the funeral line!

In the mean time Baby Girl has scooted over to the window and has her face plastered to the glass looking to see if each person we pass by is dressed for a funeral.

Baby Girl: Yep, they are dressed for a funeral Papa.

Another car goes by.

Baby Girl: Nope, they don't look good enough for a funeral.

Baby Girl: Oh wait a minute, I guess that could be funeral clothes.

Not The Baby: wait a minute let me look.

Papa: Oh I don't know Baby Girl, they look pretty normal.


Momma: Papa PULL OVER

Papa: Where the heck am I going to pull over at?

Momma: I don't know but this goes against everything I stand for, give these poor people respect would ya.

Baby Girl: Yep they look like they just been to a dead person party.

Momma: Baby Girl, stop loooo.......Yes Papa they look like they are mourning, would ya pull over.

Papa: But where?

Momma: Just pull over anywhere, I don't care just get me out of this line and get me out now!

Friday, August 15, 2008

Text Me!............Not!

Well Baby Boy now has access to a cell phone that he can text on and we are now frequently receiving text messages from him.

Ones like this that reads:

I love you, I miss you.

Wish I was home.

I wish I had not gone so far from home.

And on and on and on.

If this was the first time that Baby Boy had done this I might feel a little sympathetic.

But if you will remember he left home early this summer for a better life in another state with friends.

Not long after him leaving I was getting messages like the ones above.

Then Papa rescues him and goes and picks him up and bring him home.

So rather than approach Baby Boy like I typically do with all of my kids, which is straight forward.

No bull crap.

Just the honest truth!

I have decided that I am going to try to sweeten things up a little before laying it on him.

So I am trying to come up with as many words of wisdom that I can to text him back on a daily basis.

One of my favorites comes for a kids movie:

"Life is an occasion.....So rise to it!"

Anyone know what movie that came from?

I have tried telling him that there are going to be many bumps in his road and many people in his life that are going to try to stop him from doing the things that he wants to do but he has to stand strong and never let them win in this battle of life.

I want him to be strong and not give up so easily when things get a little difficult.

So do you have a favorite quote about being strong that maybe I can pass along to Baby Boy that might help him feel like he can survive the fight?

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

I Will Survive!

Well the first day of school has come and gone!

Remember how I told you that Not The Baby requires so much sleep and is really hard to wake up?

Well I warned all the girls especially Not The Baby that breakfast would be on the table at 7:30 every morning!

And the older girls who are bad about trying to run out the door without eating would be required to be dressed and ready to walk out the door with the exception of brushing their teeth before they sit down for breakfast.

Can you believe that everyone was at the table by 7:15 am!!!!

Yeah kids.

Guess who was the one running late?

You guessed it right!

Me the Momma!

I tried to do way too much before leaving:

empty the dishwasher

fold two baskets of clothes

make Baby Girls lunch

Feed the animals

wash a few pot and pans that could not go in the dishwasher

start a load of clothes

boil the chicken for that nights dinner

write my blog

wash my hair

make my bed

try to check a few of my favorite web sites

Seems like I am forgetting something.

Why do we as Mommas feel like we have to do it all??

Could it be because I know that if I do not do it then it will not get done!!

Needless to say I made it to work right on time.

Thank goodness work is only a couple of blocks from my house.

Heck I would even ride my bike to work if some JERK didn't steal it.

Hold on please...




OK, it was probably one of the same jerks who busted out the windows in our school.

I am feeling really random today, with my blogging that is.

Anyway, the first day went well, we only have a couple of stinkers in class and hey I don't think it isn't anything that I cant handle.

I mean I already got a hug from one little girl in the class and when I got back from my lunch break she told me that she missed me..


I know isn't it sweet!

That is why I do what I do for such little pay.

And the fact that this job gives me time to be with my babies more.

All went well for all the girls on their first day of school.

While I was sitting in here writing the blog I could hear the older girls making fun of some of their teachers.

You think any of our little ones goes home and makes fun of me?

Oh my that would break my heart.

I could never teach high school or middle high.

I would be heart broken.

So all in all my day went really well.

That is until I walked into the house and Papa says:

Hey Momma come here I want to talk to you!


No way.

If you want to talk to me it must be bad because Lord knows you are not the talking kind of man and the only time you want to talk to me is when something is wrong.

He laughs.

Then he says, do you want the bad news or the really bad news.

Neither damn it!




Baby Boy called and they took him to the hospital by ambulance for heat exhaustion!

On the ambulance?

Do you know how much an ambulance cost?!

Is he OK?

Papa: Yes he is fine, all he did was complain on the phone.

Momma: He should have been working out this summer!

Well I would call him but he ran his cell phone bill up so high that I cant afford to pay it even though all summer I said to him:

Momma: Baby Boy, how much do you owe on your cell phone bill?

Baby Boy: Oh I don't know?

Momma: well you better figure it out and if they owe you a credit like you say they do then you better get it taken care of!

Well lets just say that he didn't do that either!

Then he calls home tonight from some girls phone and I right away say:

Momma: So what happened?

Baby Boy: Well they said that I had a panic attack.

Momma: That's not an illness that's a mental thing!

Momma: Please tell me that you went to the hospital on campus that is free.

Baby Boy: No they took me to the hospital in town.

OK that was the turning of the knife.

Lets just say sometimes I should really keep my thoughts to myself.

But do you think I could

Hell no.

Well you are the one that wanted to go half a world away from home and now look at you, you are having panic attacks!

This next part I said in my head:

I mean my holly crap if I have not had a panic attack by now with trying to raise you, Brat Baby and your father then for goodness sakes you shouldn't.

Then oh my stars it hit me, that little lovely Baby Boy is having a panic attack because he doesn't have a cell phone right now.

That child acts like he will die without his cell phone, so bad that if I was hanging off a cliff about to drop to my death into rocky icy waters and Baby Boy could only either hold my hand to bring me to safety or hold his cell phone so that it would not drop then guess who's plummeting?

Well it's not the cotton pickin cell phone that's dying!

Well unfortunately Baby Boy did not have time to stay on the phone with me.

Imagine that.

Now I will go to bed upset that I was upset because he was upset.

If anyone ever tells you that parenting gets easier the older your kids get then turn away from that lying little sucker.

Either that or get some advice on how they are doing it.

Oh I know those are probably the parents who don't talk to their children after the age of 18.

Well today is a new day and the sun is still rising from the east.

At least I hope it is, I think I will go and check!

Depression Is Wanting To Settle In!

This morning I rose before the sun.

Made my my way to the kitchen for my little cup of heaven and told myself that I can do this.

Today is my first day of the 2008- 2009 school year.

I met almost all of our new little ones last night at open house and knew that they like all the others will grab hold of my heart and always hold a special place.

I love my job, the pay really sucks and without Papa I would be in the welfare line at DHS.

But who wouldn't love to be told that you look nice everyday, or that someone loves you over and over and over again.

Gosh if all the adults we meet or work with could only be half as nice as a four year old.

With all of that said I thought that I am ready to go this morning.

Then I look into my bedroom where the two youngest babies have taken up residence and I look at them sleeping and the first feeling I had was depression.

Depressed at the fact that no matter what I do I cant make them stop growing up.

Man do they grow fast.

My first baby girl is on the home stretch of school and then she will be off before you know it.

I do think I have her talked into staying close to home for college though unlike her brother who chooses to be a world away and then calls and tells me after one week of being gone that he is home sick.

Home Sick!!!!

Anyway just make sure that you give some big lovin to your babies today as some of them start school.

Breathe them in.

Because in the blink of an eye they will be grown and calling you telling you that they are home sick.

Happy Wednesday!

Monday, August 11, 2008

Baby Boy Update

Well after a Hellish (is that even a word?) trip to his new home away from home (college) he now informs me that his new soccer coach is a drill Sergent.

Baby Boy: This stuff is stupid

Momma: Oh really

Baby Boy: Yeah, I was running so much that I am getting sick

Momma : Oh really, well that is probably why you coach sent you that 100 page workout bible that you were suppose to live by this summer

Momma: Oh that's right you did not do those things, even though I asked you on many occasions why you were not doing them, why you were just sitting on your ass, not working or not working out.

Baby Boy: I got to go!

Momma: Oh OK honey I love you, suck it up!

Tough love, it really hurts me more than it hurts you, Whatever!

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Where In The World Is Momma?

I cant seem to get it together long enough to write.

But I promise to very soon.

I am freaking out about having to start work again and all the activities that come with that.

Soccer, volleyball (Thanks Not The Baby)!

Early mornings again.

Early to bed (Oh early to bed I don't think so, Brat Baby has a job that I will have to pick her up at 10 at night)

OK I am in bed by 8:30 on school nights!

I am not breathing right now , or at least not that often.

Tell me I can do all of this, Lord I have done way more than this before!

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Sorry For My Lack Of ......Well Everything

Baby Boy had a hell of a trip and Greyhound Busing system is going to get a piece of this Momma's mind.
So forgive me while I chose not to breathe until Baby Boy is completely settled into school.

I'll be back I promise.

In the meantime I have been saving some major money with my coupons and today I went out and purchase the August 29 edition of All You magazine for $1.77 at Wal-mart and I am going to reap the benefits of the coupons that are in there.

Not to mention there are steals going on at Walgreens this week.

Let me know if you need help.

Pray for Baby Boy.

Monday, August 4, 2008

The Many Faces Of My Baby Boy!

God if I could get these days back! Baby Boy with his Cuz.

His favorite game in the whole world

Senior Mohawk's for soccer

The last walk through high school

December cutting a Christmas tree down

Baby Boy with his best friend in high school

Back row acting way too cool.

He's the tall one next tot he coach.

My little big headed love bunny, we will miss you and wish you all the best at your far from home school doing what you love to do.
Play the shit out of soccer baby!

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Part Of Me Is Leaving In One Day!

Baby Boy has to report to his school and his coach in one day.

He will be more than nine hours away from home.

He has driven me a little crazy this summer like all kids do.

But when you actually have to say goodbye to one of your kids knowing that you wont see him for several months, well lets just say that my heart feels like it is in my throat.

Every time I look at him I want to cry.

Every time I think of one of his sisters crying say this time next month because they miss him makes me want to cry.

Who ever tells you motherhood gets easier is a bold face liar.

When your babies are not under your roof is when the challenge really begins, because that's when you hope you did your very best and you hope you talked about everything important that you needed to talk and teach about.

And you hope that God will send an angel just to look after your baby.

So pray for me, pray for Baby Boy and pray for all those mommas that are about to send their baby off to make a better life for their self.

Man I think I will need to sit down and have a margarita if I am going to make it through all of this!

Lord help me if I ever have a real problem!