Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Teacher? Maybe... Probablly..... More Than Likely!

I think I have told you about how Baby Girl does not really play with toys. If not well I am now.

Baby Girls favorite thing in the whole wide world to play is school.

Can you guess who gets to be the teacher?

Baby Girl...duh!

Can you guess who gets to be the student?

That's right any poor sucker that walks in this house willing to do exactly as she says.

Mainly though its the sweet little neighbor boy who is two years younger than her.

Who also has a speech problem, which means his pleas for school to be over tends to go without being heard or understood.

Yesterday sweet little neighbor boy....lets call him Mr. Bean (yes there is a story behind that) came over to play. Sadness came over his face when Baby Girl announced to him that they would be playing school, but Mr. Bean has no one else to play with so he agreed, at least we think he did.

So as I am cleaning the house I walk by their school room (front living room....like I have a choice, you have to. Actually this house is so small you pretty much pass each and every room anytime you need to go anywhere.....hey but I'm not complaining. It's paid for) and Mr. Bean is actually reading a book to Teacher Baby Girl.

I think to myself: well a little bit of forced Baby Girl school is good for him, he is playing and learning at the same time.

Then a little bit later I walk by the front room and they are not there, everything that they were playing with is there though.

So I walk down the hall and pass the computer room.

There in the middle of the floor is Mr. Bean sitting kriss cross apple sauce with his eyes fixed on something in front of him and above him.

I look to see what he is looking at and if it wasn't the meanest looking person I had ever seen in my life (and yes I have seen some...cough ...cough...ha..ha ) Teacher Baby Girl had turned into Principal Baby Girl and was making Mr. Bean sit in silence. Then I heard her tell him:

Principal Baby Girl: So is this more fun than being in class?

Mr. Bean: nooooo

Principal Baby Girl: Ok then I expect you to go to class and listen to your teacher!

Mr. Bean: Okkkkk

I thought at that moment, if this girl does not grow up and do something where she is in charge I will be shocked to no get out!

I have been trying to talk her into being a lawyer. The way she argues with me and brings me to a dead stop....well, she should put her talent to good use some day.

Keep Mr. Bean in your prayers, the poor kid will need it!

Teacher Baby Girl was giving out pretzels later that school day for each correct answer that Mr. Bean got right. When Baby Girl had to help him with one he was only allowed half a pretzel. Funny thing is Teacher Baby Girl got a whole pretzel for every question she asked.

Mr. Bean left to make the long journey home to go get himself some food, the half pretzel was just torture.

People tell me that Baby Girl is a lot like her Momma.............


Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Where Oh Where Did My Baby Go Oh Where Oh Where Can She Be!

Baby Girl is 9 years old and those of you with younger children or maybe even older children will think to yourself....9 ......9 is still young!

But let me tell you thanks to older siblings, lack of sensoring on television and the internet our babies now know more than you and I would have ever thought of at that age.

Now , No I do not let her watch whatever she wants, to tell you the truth there are many days of the week that the tv does not even come on in our house.

No I do not let her search the internet, she seldom gets on unless it is freezing or raining outside and she is not able to jump on the trampoline or teach our neighbor boy how he should be learning math (even though she is not an expert herself, she got that from her momma).

Baby Girl does not reveal everything she knows, at least that is what I am thinking but yesterday morning we had just dropped off Not The Baby at school and we stopped to get gas in the car because it had reached the point that it was only chugging down the road (how I hate to get gas) due to lack of fuel, and as I was gasing up the car I notice two little birds just chirping away and thought to myself...ahhhh spring, how I love spring.

I look into the car and see that Baby Girl is also watching the birds, very intently I might add and I think to myself, thank goodness she still notices the little things in life, maybe she still is Momma's little girl inside and not some pre-teen brat that thinks she can do whatever she wants whenever she wants because by golly she is in control of herself and not Me!!! (feel the motherly frustration?)

I watch Baby Girl watching the birds and then she turns to me to see if I see them and I think...ahhh and I lip to her yes honey I see them, arent they cute!

And through the glass she lips to me:

Baby Girl: They are mating!

Momma: Holly hell who taught you that, damn it, just watch the birds and think they are playing!
Thanks a lot for ruining my moment........damn pre-teenism!

Now not to worry I said all of those things to the gas hose and not to Baby Girl, to Baby Girl I just smiled like someone had just shit in my face.

And she went on watching the horney birds!!!

Then if that was not enough she felt like she needed to explain the situation to me when I get into the car ater paying for gas.

Baby Girl: Momma did you see those birds?

Momma: Yep saw the birds!

Momma: Did you see how much gas cost today!

Baby Girl: They were mating

Momma: Did you remember your back pack?

Baby Girl: The boy bird wants to have babies with the girl bird.

Momma: Are you buckled?

Baby Girl: But the girl bird said get off me!


Momma: Baby Girl just sing along to the radio, isnt this your favorite song?

I am so screwed!!!


Thursday, April 8, 2010

Since You've Been Goneeee...

Well I'm lyrically NO Kelly Clarkson.....but for some reason when I wrote the title to this blog that is the first thing that came to my mind.

Man since I've been gone my life has done a 360........like more than once.

So now I wonder when I write will I sound the same, some people tell me that I am different. I don't feel all that different, or maybe I just cant feel it all yet.

I had a year from hell and I know there are worse things out there so please God do not present them to me, I will take your word for it that there are worse things to go through.

This last summer I had a complete and total breakdown ( no I didn't go crazy I just was not me), and now I wish that I would have seeked help or someone would have said....."get some help before you lose it". Because here is the devastating part when you lose it, you tend to do things that are totally out of character and when you do those things there is no way to take them back. They are there, etched in stone, carved out of hearts, and forever burned into your memory bank.
Ok don't go overboard with your thoughts, I didn't kill somebody.

I feel like I could write a book on things that happened. But really I'm not sure I would want anyone to read it.

But instead I think that I will work on getting up the courage to just write this blog.

Believe it or not this is Momma.....and I just wrote my first blog since my life changed forever.