I went to a writers workshop headed up by a dear friend of mine.
Every time I am around this friend he leaves me in thought.
He leaves me feeling like there is a whole world at my finger tips just waiting for me to take a turn at.
Even though this is nothing that I don't already know, because I know that anyone can do anything and be anyone.
But we get lost in our daily lives of just being.
We get lost in the day to day rat race and though I would not change it for the world. I know that someday there will not be babies at home to raise and mouths to feed other than my own.
There will not be daily drama to deal with or sibling rivalry to control.
One day there will be just me.
Will I still always just be Momma?
And JUST seems like a word I should not use because to me Momma means everything.
There is no star brighter than a Mom. There is no man on earth that could take my place and so to use the word JUST seems belittling.
Or will I become something else, someone else or just find another part of me that I have yet to explore.
Or will I just dream about those things that I wanted to try, or envoy those that took the leap.
There are days that I wake up and see myself as someone who is yet to find her path. Then there are days that I wake up and say to myself, who could ask for anything more.
I feel comfort in the days of complete contentness.
I feel edgy on the days that I seek fulfillment.
So then I find myself walking around somewhere in the middle of both emotions.
Really I don't think one lifetime is enough to do everything I want to do and as I sat here I hear the clock ticking and I tell myself that life is to short for dreams only.
Then my babies walk in the room and tell me how much they love me and I think that I could die the happiest person on earth at that very moment.
Gawd I hate it when I think too much..................I need to just go to bed and dream happy content dreams. No sky diving in this dream!