Tears that is....
Over the Christmas break I went with some friends to see the movie Marley and Me.
Before I went several people had told me..."Well you may not want to see it the dog dies you know."
Momma: So what the dog dies. People die too you know.
Momma: Does everyone care more about a dog than about human life.
So what does Not The Baby have to say about that?
Not The Baby: So! Dogs don't have control about what happens to them, they rely on people to care for them.
Not The Baby:That is why people love dogs so much! That is why people cry over dogs dying!
Not the Baby: Get a heart Momma!
Momma: GET A HEART!
Momma: You are telling me to get a heart!
Momma: You are talking to the very person that gave birth to your big head and let me tell you baby, that hurt like hell!
Momma: I care, I have a heart. I just think it is stupid for people to act like it is the end of the world when a dog dies in a movie!
Not The Baby: Whatever Momma!
Momma: Yea whatever!
So I go to the movies with three of my amigos and when we sit down I ask Miss E if Mrs. B has tissue?
Mrs. B said that she did not bring tissue.
I think to myself what in the heck was she thinking, she is going to be bawling her head off, she is the dog lover of all dog lovers and she DID NOT BRING TISSUE!
So the movie starts just as the book did, where Marley is a total pain in the butt and the fact that those people did not walk his happy little butt to the SPCA is a total miracle.
(Look who is talking, I house Azazel, remember....who is currently being screamed at as I type.)
The dog gets older and older and older.
Then one day the dog can not make it up the stairs to go to bed with his beloved master, so his master sleeps on the floor with Marley.
How sweet of him to sleep on the floor with him, personally I would have just carried the dog to the bed, but hey it was sweet.
Then the dog gets sick.
The dog may die.
Then guess what happens?
You got it, he kicks the bucket.
I am now crying so hard that my shirt is getting all wet from my tears.
I look to my right and Miss E is crying, well I think she is.
I look to my left and Miss P is crying, well I am pretty sure she is crying.
Then the writer of this stupid movie keeps the camera on the master and his precious old boy while the vet puts him to sleep.
I am bawling, I make this funny noise out of my nose and I can see out of the corner of my eye that Miss E is looking at me.
I think I am going to loose it.
I try to think happy thoughts......I am grinning from ear to ear now and I see Miss P out of the corner of my left eye turn to look at me.
Shit she is going to think that I am some heartless sicko that has no care in the world for a living being when she sees me smiling, not knowing that this is the only way that I can keep from busting out loud.
I stop smiling and the emotions are starting to build up again to the point of combustion.
Please God I say, let someone in this dog loving packed theater start blubbering out loud before I do.
What happens if I let it go, I am afraid that I will not be able to stop myself.
Oh would this be payback for all those things that I have said about people who cry over dogs?
Ok forgive me for I am sorry.
I am so stinkin sorry.
I was wrong, I was dead wrong!
Finally I put my purse in front of my face so that I can not see the movie screen, but that draws the attention of my friends to myself.
So I put the purse down.
I start to almost burst out laughing again!
(I know it is weird, but that is sometimes how I handle situations that are just a little too much for me.)
Breathe.....I keep telling myself. Think of happy thoughts but not too happy.
(hmmm.....I know Baby Boy finally getting a job is a real happy thought....think of that)
Then finally it is over!
My Gawd they drug the death scene on FOREVER!
I was never so ready to leave a theater than I was to leave this one.
When we were out in the light I tried to see if there were any heartless people out there that did not cry.
I mean there is no way you could sit through this movie and not cry like and infant.
I think I saw one lady dry as a bone!
What a witch!
My girlfriends agreed to hang out with me for thirty more minutes while I wait for Brat Baby to get off work. So we went over to a restaurant and had drinks and dessert.
Brat Baby showed and we headed home.
When I get to the house I go straight for the bathroom and I happen to catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror...........
Well not exactly like this but see all the black under his eyes.
Yes that is what my eyes looked like while I was sitting at the restaurant conversing with friends after that damn movie!
I didn't even think I wore that much make-up but it was all under my eyes like I had just been sucker punched.
I think Not The Baby works in mysterious ways!
The Crying Over A Dog In A Movie Momma!