This morning I am driving down the road with Miss S., Baby Girl and Brat Baby and we are on our way to a garage sale (imagine that).
I am explaining to Miss S. that something is killing my bushes in the front yard and that I went to the local Super Drive Me Crazy Center to get some pesticide to take out these unknown little jerks that are trying to ruin my hard work. I have tried to make our little shack that we call home and eye appealing structure.
I go on to tell Miss S. that I could not believe how expensive that little bottle of pesticide was.
Baby Girl chimes in from the back seat:
Baby Girl: Momma, they lie!
Momma: Sweetheart what are you talking about? Who lied?
Baby Girl: You know that place where you hate to shop that you said the people disguise their selves in shirts that have no name of the store on it, that way they can ignore you when you have a question because you don't really know if they work there or they are just shopping there.
Momma: Oh, you mean the Sorry We Don't Know When We Will Ever Get Anything In That You Are Asking For Super center.
Baby Girl: Yes that one!
Momma: Well what did they lie about honey?
Baby Girl: Well you said that the bug spray was too high.
Baby Girl: They Lie!
Baby Girl: They say "Save Money, Live Better."
At that point I am ready to pull the car over and hug her and Oh I don't know, take on the world with her by my side.
Baby Girl: How can we live better if we are spending all our money there.
She has a point!
The other day when I was out Baby Girl called me to tell me something very important.
Here is how that conversation went:
Baby Girl: Oh Hello Momma!
Momma: Hi Sweetheart, what do you need?
Let me just tell you that this was about the 20th time she had phoned me in the last thirty minutes.
Baby Girl: Momma did you know there is this place where they will give you a yellow envelope for you to put your gold jewelry in and you mail it to them and they will send you money??
Momma: Do you believe that?
Baby Girl: Yes Momma I do. There was this lady on there that said she had no idea that her jewelry was worth so much money.
Baby Girl: We should do that Momma!
Momma: OK sweetheart right after I call the local cable company and cancel our cable.
But then I thought of something. If kids believe most everything they see on TV or on the Internet then we as parents should have our own cable channel and tell them good things like:
If you don't eat your vegetables little aliens will come and take you away.
If you back talk your Momma than your tongue will eventually start to rot and fall out.
or how about:
If you get any wild ideas of any kind, something really bad is going to happen to you like ..........Oh like..........I know Internet will just disappear and never return.
That is when you shut off the cable!
Wait a minute.......How would I ever blog if I didn't have the Internet!
This would definitely be one of those punishments when you tell your child, "This hurts Momma more than it is going to hurt you." and it would true.
I need a better plan.