Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Now She Drives ...

Way back in November when there was not 5 foot snow drifts outside Not The Baby turned 16!

Can you believe it 16!

She chose to go out to dinner with friends for her birthday.

I so wanted to be invited and years ago I would have crashed that party like nobodies business.

But I have grown up a little bit.

( I refuse to grow up completely)

Now that she was 16 it meant driver license time!
Now days you cant just show up at the local armory and get your license when you turn 16. That is unless you have had six months of previous training also know as making the Momma crap her pants as you take the corner 30 MPH.

When it was time to start drivers education Not The Baby brought home information on the cost of such program.
Momma: Oh good! sweetheart let me see what this will cost me.

Not The Baby: I would like to do this one because you get it all done very quickly.

Momma: What the hell are they thinking ? They want $300 dollars to teach you how to drive!

Momma: I think not!
Not The Baby: But I have to have this training to get my license.

Momma: Well you know what I think....... driving is over rated.
Momma: I really don't mind driving you around sweetheart.

Not The Baby: What the hell mom.

Momma: Watch your tone with me!

Not The Baby: Remember I can say that word because it is a place and I am now 16.

Momma: Oh yes, I forgot about YOUR rule.

Momma: What were the other words that you are apparently old enough to say?

Not The Baby: Piss and shit.
Not The Baby: Since those are things we actually do!

(For those of you that don't know it, Not The Baby comes up with her own rules on a daily basis and some how manages to get away with it. Do you think that this is lazy parenting?......This is what you call tired of fighting....been a Momma a long time and the youngest ones totally take advantage of it.)

Anyways back my story......

Momma: You know what big britches I am going to sign us up for the parent taught drivers education!

Not The Baby: But it would be so much easier just to get this over with. Plus you know your driving skills have been in question for some time now. Papa refers you to some race car driver doesn't he?

Momma: Papa is just jealous because I drive better than he does, as a matter of fact I do a lot of things better than he does but don't tell him because he is sensitive and it will just hurt his feelings and then I feel like I have to apologize and quite frankly I don't feel like apologizing over something that I know is true.

So it is set in stone, I will teach Not The Baby how to drive!

The first time or two I was told that I made her nervous.

Baby Girl agreed that I was being a little gripy when Not The Baby drove.
So I tried to tone it down a little.

But for some unknown reason when I would tell Not The Baby to slow down it would take her like an hour to actually put foot to brake.

When she would turn it was like she forgot to bend her arms and the turn would turn into this whole head jerking making the Momma furious situation.
Then one time we were in a parking lot at the local grocery store and I told Not The Baby to turn the wheel a little and get over for the passing car..........nothing.........nothing......she freakin did nothing. So I said it louder.

Momma: Turn the wheel Not The Baby!

Still nothing!
Momma: Turn the F****ing wheel before I grab it!

Not The Baby: Oh my Gawd mother!

Momma: Don't you gawd suck at driving!
Momma: Oh crap did I just say that?

Baby Girl: (who happens to be in the back seat) Yep you sure did Momma....way to are a great teacher!

Momma: Baby it or I will teach you to drive too!

So that is how the 6 month training went in a nut shell.

And thought carrying her in my body for 9 months was a long time!

Long story short she now has her license and thinks it is still cool for her to run errands for me!! ha ha
Wait till she figures out that running all over town grabbing this and that at the store is actually torture.
I have often tried to picture Not The Baby in her car driving along sitting on that booster seat of a pillow she has to have in order to see the over the steering wheel. Wondering if she sings when she drives or if she is really scared out of her mind.

Then while going through some pictures I came across these:

Mystery no more.
She is way too much like her mother.....Help me!

Peace & Love

1 comment:

Heather said...

My cousins taught their daughter to drive. It was a complete and utter nightmare! My cousin is a former teacher and former race car driver and their daughter is a nerd. I couldn't even stand to just hear them talk about it!!! You are much braver than I!